I'm retiring this blog for awhile. You can follow my continuing adventures here-

http://extraecclesiam.wordpress.com/

"God orders all events of things, after the counsel of his will, to his own glory, his glory being the ultimate end of all his actings, and the center where all the lines of providence meet."

Thomas Watson, "A Body of Divinity"

I am a bit behind the media cultural wave having only last week viewed "Bruce Almighty." There were a number of scenes I found myself chuckling, especially since there have been times over the last year I have questioned God's management of my universe! I liked the part where Jim Carry is asking for a sign and "caution" is flashing on the road sign and then a truck pulls in front of him. Morgan Freeman makes a fun incarnation of the deity.
So, I've decided that maybe God does a better job of managing the universe then I ever would even if I don't always understand the what or why.

We are used to the "raging right" doing the God talk thing but the looney left does too - "Labamba " Obama is experimenting with a mild-mannered MLK Jr. or recovering Rev. Ike persona; Ms. Hillary is aiming for "Sister Aimee" sans tongues; and "Swift Mouth" Kerry's ol' side-kick, what's-his-name, has secluded himself at a Motel 6 to write his new tome entitled "The Populist Pearl of Great Price" that he claims is a translation of ancient brass tablets he discovered in a N. Carolina trailer park.
God has refused further comment on the office seekers on the right as well as the left employment of American civil religion except to say "none of these folks has a clue."

Clerk's Business Meeting Notes

Farce Baptist Church
July 8, 2007, 12:00 pm
Regular Business Meeting Minutes
Willis Owensby, Clerk


borrowed from tom in the box

The congregation of approximately 22 men, women, and children 12 and older met in the sanctuary. Pastor Honus Johnson opened the meeting with prayer. We sang the 1st, 2nd, and 4th verses of Sweet Hour of Prayer, led by Brother Lane Steve, Song Leader. Motion presented by Brother Randall Miller, Fellowship Chairman.

• “I move to postpone all business scheduled for tonight to a special called meeting on Wednesday, July 12, 2007 so we can begin setting up decorations for VBS.”

Pastor Honus Johnson called for the vote. Brother Dale Williams, Head Deacon, raised a point of order that the motion was not seconded, neither was it discussed. Pastor Honus Johnson asked for a second. Brother Randall Miller’s motion was seconded by Brother Dale Williams, Head Deacon.

Pastor Honus Johnson recognized Brother Jasper Gephard, Treasurer. Brother Gephard stood up to give the financial report and began by stating that the General Fund contained $4,198.38 as of June 30, 2007. Brother Randall Miller, Fellowship Chairman, raised a point of order that his motion had not been voted on. Pastor Honus Johnson asked that everyone who was in favor say “Amen.” After many “Amens,” Brother Lane Steve, Song Leader, questioned why the vote was taken on the Treasurer’s report before it was fully presented. Since it was unclear what had just been voted on, Brother Dale Williams, Head Deacon, suggested that we return to a discussion of Brother Randall Miller’s original motion.

Pastor Johnson recognized Sister Evelynn Gephard, Children’s Choir Director. Sister Evelynn raised the point that July 11, 2007 will be a Wednesday and July 12, 2007 will be a Thursday, but the motion states “Wednesday, July 12.” Pastor Johnson advised Brother Randall Miller to withdraw his original motion. Brother Randall Miller attempted to withdraw his motion, but Brother Dale Williams raised a point of order that the motion could not be withdrawn because he had already seconded the motion. Since it could not be withdrawn unless he also withdrew his second, Brother Dale Williams suggested that amendments be offered to the original motion.

Sister Evelynn Gephard motioned to amend Brother Randall Miller’s original motion by changing “Wednesday, July 12” to “Wednesday, July 11.” Pastor Honus Johnson called for the vote. Brother Dale Williams, raised a point of order that the amendment to the motion had not been seconded, neither was it discussed. Pastor Johnson asked for a second. Sister Evelynn’s motion to amend was seconded by Brother Dale Williams.

Pastor Johnson recognized Brother Jasper Gephard, Treasurer. Brother Gephard stood up to report that Tithes and Offerings for June were $3,117.91 while expenses were $2,993.47. Brother Randall Miller raised a point of order that his motion still needed a vote. Pastor Johnson called for the vote. Brother Dale Williams raised a point of order that Sister Evelynn’s amendment needed to be discussed and voted on before Brother Randall’s original motion could be voted on.

Pastor Johnson recognized Sister Dorris Lee Williams. Sister Dorris Lee suggested that we settle on a date to have the next business meeting and get on with setting up for VBS. Pastor Johnson recognized Sister Sarah Owensby. Sister Sarah agreed with Sister Dorris Lee that we hurry up and settle on a date for the business meeting. Brother Dale Williams explained to everyone that we were already in the process of deciding on the date. Brother Randall Miller, Jr. said that we should just have the meeting on Wednesday the 11th and get on with the VBS decorations.

Brother Lane Steve, Song Leader, said that Wednesday, July 11th would not be a good time because it would interfere with the organizational meeting for the Christmas Cantata. He said that Thursday, July 12th would fit the schedule much better. Sister Evelynn Gephard withdrew her motion to amend, and Brother Dale Williams withdrew his second on the motion to amend. Pastor Honus Johnson called for the vote. Brother Dale Williams raised a point of order and stated that the original motion, as currently written, still contained the impossible date of Wednesday, July 12th.

Brother Lane Steve, Song Leader, motioned to amend Brother Randall Miller’s original motion by changing “Wednesday, July 12” to “Thursday, July 12.” Pastor Honus Johnson called for the vote. Brother Dale Williams, raised a point of order that the amendment to the motion had not been seconded, neither was it discussed. Pastor Johnson asked for a second. Brother Lane’s motion to amend was seconded by Brother Dale Williams.

Brother Willis Owensby raised a Bylaws question. According to the current Bylaws, a special meeting cannot be called without at least 10 days notice and that notice must be given during a regular Sunday morning service. Brother Owensby explained that the earliest notice could be given would be during the Sunday morning service on July 8th. Therefore, the earliest the next meeting could be called would be July 18th. Brother Lane Steve withdrew his motion to amend. Brother Dale Williams withdrew his second on the motion to amend.

Brother Dale Williams motioned to amend Brother Randall Miller’s original motion by changing “Wednesday, July 12” to “Wednesday, July 18.” Brother Willis Owensby seconded the motion to amend. With no further discussion, the amendment passed without objection: 15 for, 0 against.

Pastor Johnson asked if someone would motion to adjourn. Brother Dale Williams raised a point of order that the original motion had not been voted on, only the amendment. After much discussion and many comments, Brother Dale Williams explained that we voted only to amend the motion, and now we needed to vote on the original motion as amended presented by Brother Randall Miller, Fellowship Chair. Brother Dale Williams explained that the motion as amended now reads:

• "I move to postpone all business scheduled for tonight to a special called meeting on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 so we can begin setting up decorations for VBS.”

With no more discussion, Pastor Honus Johnson called for the vote. Motion passed unanimously: 7 for, 0 against. Brother Dale Williams motioned to adjourn. With no objections, Pastor Honus Johnson closed in prayer around 9:15 pm.

I had a phone interview with a church located in the Midwest this week - the first since I started looking for a new position months ago. They asked me about myself and I asked them to describe themselves. Here's what they said that stood out - they have an organ (and a great organist), a choir, and great pot-lucks. Their main challenge is "keeping their young people interested in church."

(Ok, after getting the smelling salts on the count of 3 may we join together in a collective scream?)

They wonder why the kids are bored out of their skulls?
I like a good chow down as much as the next guy but was Jesus crucified so folks could have great pot-lucks?



Can these folks say "m-i-s-s-i-o-n-a-l?"

In addition to this purpose driven approach to ministry, they told me the position is part-time, no benefits and they have rented out the parsonage. They average around 65 in worship.
So...their real underlying motivation is to save $$$ (Didn't ask if they have trust funds or investments).
Ever heard of the deadly sin of sloth? Or as we would say today "spiritual l-a-z-i-n-e-s-s?"

How can people who claim to be a church be so clueless as to why they are in existence? I have found that churches like this are a friendly group until you ask them to take the gospel seriously. I'm not just being jaded or cynical - I have had enough with this kind of institutional apostasy (Bill Easum's term). This is the old wine skin I've been trying to change for the last 8 years if not more. No, I won't be going there. I'm running, not walking to the nearest fire exit.
So what to do?

I've decided to go to Global Awakening's School of Ministry in Mechanicsburg, PA. Its a 9 month program with an option for another year. 2 years ago I went to Argentina with Randy Clark & Global. Then last year I went to Brazil with Gary Oates a Global associate. I've not been the same since. I don't know how we'll swing it but we are going as a family and we are going in faith. We move in August, classes start in September and I'll go to Brazil at the end of the month.
God certainly has a sense of humor. I'll be close to a Waffle House too. And far, far away from an organ.

I found this little gem at www.spectator.org

Among the Intellectualoids
Pastoral Letter From the Future II
By Lars Walker


The following letter (acquired through a reliable but anonymous transtemporal source) will be written by the Rev. Dr. Judith Hardanger-Hansen, archbishop of the American Archdiocese of the Lutheran Companionship of the Benevolent Deity Spiritual Movement (BDSM) sometime around the second decade of the 21st Century.

Beloved in the Offspring:

I would like to thank all those who have written and e-mailed in response to my previous pastoral letter. Thanks to those who expressed their support.

The rest of you should be aware that your messages have been forwarded to the Tolerance Directorate for possible prosecution.

A question has been raised in the media recently concerning demographic changes in our Comradeship. Figures have appeared claiming that our Lutheran body now includes only a 17% male membership, and that most of that 17% is boys under twelve years of age. Only 6% of our pastors (according to our own statistics) are male, and half of those are gay.

First of all, I must state that we dispute some of these figures. Several of them have not been generated through official channels. We have very rigorous, subjectively controlled procedures for calculating membership statistics within our organization, and our figures place our male membership at nearly 29%.

But even granting, for the sake of argument, the lower figure, how are we to account for such disappointing engagement among almost half the population?

The charge that men have been "elbowed out" of participation and leadership is unworthy of serious consideration, and I shall ignore it.

I see two credible explanations.

The first is one advanced by my personal friend, Rev. Dr. Sophia Wolhammer-Smith-Guevera of Union Theological Seminary, in her groundbreaking book, The Gentile Sex. In this seminal work, she propounds the theory that males are, in fact, "sinners."

She points to numerous biblical passages (I haven't time to look them up just now) which have, traditionally, been translated to say, "All men are sinners, and are under judgment."

It is her thesis that such passages should be understood literally. In the fall of Adam (which, it should be noted, is never called "the fall of Eve" in scripture) it was the male who sinned and became subject to judgment.

In this view, original sin applies only to males. Women have never "fallen," and require no redemption.

It follows that men are naturally resistant to all that is good, and are uncomfortable in the nurturing environment of the contemporary church.

Dr. Wolhammer-Smith-Guevera leaves the question open as to whether the gospel should be preached to men or not. She notes that in the view of many modern theologians, such souls as men possess are probably not worth the trouble. And we're all aware of what men did with the church when they were running it. It may be best to let bad enough alone, especially in view of recent advances in fertility science, which promise to make men entirely superfluous.

I personally am inclined, with all deference to my friend's scholarship, to take a more moderate view. I note that in the New Testament there appears to be a mysterious concept known (in English) as "atonement." The idea of atonement has long been a mystery to feminist theologians, since we take it as a first principle that people are born perfect, with no need (as one of our friends famously said) of "folks hanging on crosses, and blood dripping, and weird stuff."

But it is possible, I think, to imagine a Dual Order, in which the blessed Offspring's act of atonement applies only to males. This would be a true act of grace, since (as recent scholarship has shown) the Offspring was not a male but a female (see Moira Individualperson's [formerly Manson's] book, The Da Vinci Chromosome). The idea of a divine Woman (as all women are divine, we have no need of elaborate theories of Incarnation) giving her life for sinful, contemptible men imparts new meaning to the creedal phrase "for us men and for our salvation."

There is also a second option, one which is gaining popular support in the wake of the recent Glorious Revolution achieved by our beloved Muslim neighbors.

This thesis is that men ought to be Muslims.

I'm sure you have noticed the remarkable differences between Christian men (in general) and Muslim men (in general).

Christian men today, it must be admitted, are pretty ineffectual creatures. They show no initiative. They sit on the couch and watch sports. They play video games. They drink beer. You can't get them to argue with you even when you want them to, and trying to involve them in church activities is hopeless. They are weak fish.

Contrast them with the Muslim men you know. Muslim men are strong. They are masterful. They are unashamedly devout. They have a wonderful air of authority about them. You feel protected in their presence.

It is notable, and has been remarked on by many, that behavior which would be entirely inappropriate and unacceptable coming from a Christian man is somehow graceful -- even beautiful -- when performed by a Muslim. It is hard to account for this most familiar, if mysterious, sensation.

It seems a reasonable hypothesis that God intended men to be Muslims. This theory also provides an elegant solution to the worldwide religious crisis of our time. Women will have Christianity. Men (and women of Muslim heritage) will have Islam. Women will have a religion that suits them; men a religion that suits them. In case of marriage (for those who choose that purely optional arrangement) there is a long and harmonious history of Christian women being married to fine Muslim men, in homes abounding in mutual love and respect.

(signed)
Rev. Dr. Judith Hardanger-Hansen
Archbishop

Worth Quoting...

"If sacred truth, when challenged by blasphemy is met by silence, even that silence may be falsely construed as consent."
Hillary of Poitiers